Mayo Clinic suggests these ways to deal with and understand the pain of loss that holidays can trigger in you or your loved ones:

• Plan to incorporate the past and present in holiday events. Have patience with yourself. Balance people and privacy.
• Give a memorial to the deceased. Attend a candle service, display a special ornament, make a memory book or sing a favorite song.
• Instead of avoiding grief by avoiding activities, plan one or two significant things to try, but remember to give yourself an out.
• The bereaved need to be up-front. For example, say, "Christmas is a little empty this year without John." Use the name of the deceased to open the door for others to say they really miss him too.
• Avoid clichés such as "It must be wonderful to spend Christmas in heaven," which can be misinterpreted by those who are grieving.
• Don't completely isolate yourself, but do take time to reflect on your own.
• Share your feelings with someone close, preferably a good listener.
• Helping the bereaved with errands can lessen the stress.
• Grief doesn't necessarily lessen after one year. Remember for some the second time through the holidays is even more difficult than the first.
• Remember that no matter what, holidays, like other days, will pass.