Heidi Wagner realized with wonder that her daughter Carolyn’s first grade drawings showed sophistication beyond her years. As a volunteer in her son Ryan’s kindergarten classroom, Judy Taylor noticed that he was catching on to reading faster than the other kids. And it sure didn’t take long for local Olympian Lyndsay Wall’s mom, Sandy, to recognize that Lyndsay had more physical grace than other toddlers. All of these westside moms will celebrate this Mother’s Day with their exceptional children; kids who have a level of talent that makes them stand out. It’s easy to imagine that there are moments of tremendous pride involved in raising a child with an extraordinary gift, but these moms (and the kids’ dads!) agree, there are also plenty of sacrifices and challenges. David and Heidi Wagner of Greece, whose kids attend the Hilton schools, wonder where their daughter Carolyn gets her artistic talent. "It’s certainly not from me!" laughed Heidi, while describing the excitement in the Wagner household when Carolyn won a national safety poster design contest sponsored by the Automobile Association of America (AAA) when she was only in fifth grade. That’s just one of Carolyn’s local and national certificates and ribbons she’s won for her creation. Although the Wagners don’t know how Carolyn’s "art gene" got turned on, they do know they’ve done all that they can to nurture her outstanding ability. "She really wanted to take this watercolor class when she was in sixth grade," David recalled. "We signed her up right away, even though she was the only kid in the class. I think it’s important for parents to do all they can to promote the things their children are interested in." Carolyn, currently a freshman at Hilton High School, plans a career as an art teacher, so she can make a living while she paints. She didn’t always feel confident in her artistic skills, but credits her parents for believing in her. (See Carolyn’s thank you letter printed with this article). For Kraig and Sandy Wall of Churchville, the past year has been the realization of their daughter Lyndsay’s dream to play hockey in the Olympics. Kraig, who played semi-pro hockey himself, started Lyndsay on the ice very early. "She had to have an outlet for her energy," remembered Sandy. "By the time she was nine or ten, people were telling us that she could go as far as she wanted." For the Walls, supporting Lyndsay’s goal meant many miles on the road and hours away from home. As a pre-teen, Lyndsay, now a junior at Churchville-Chili, played hockey regularly in Buffalo, Syracuse and all over Canada. The family spent much of their free time at Lyndsay’s practices or cheering on her team. "It’s been a huge time and financial commitment," said Sandy. "I am a dental assistant, but for a long time I haven’t had the time to work. There’s always been someplace to take Lyndsay." Judy and Doug Taylor of Spencerport wanted to make sure their children would have every intellectual advantage possible. "We started thinking about that long before we even had kids," Judy said. "In fact, we picked this house because we knew that we would be able to afford it on only one salary." Judy gave up a management career to be a stay-at-home mom, but she was hardly ever at home. She frequently took Ryan, who is now in sixth grade in the Terry Taylor School’s gifted and talented program, and his sister Vanessa, an honors student at Spencerport High School, to the library, local museums, "and basically wherever I was going. Ryan always had a genuine curiosity about things. He always wanted to know how things worked or how they were made." By first grade, Judy and Doug began to think about how to ensure that Ryan was being challenged enough in school. "I held my breath that he would get into TRIAD (the district’s gifted and talented program)," Judy said. "Otherwise there might have been a lot more parent teacher conferences." As it is, Judy has become somewhat of an advocate for gifted programming at Spencerport, speaking at board of education meetings. It’s easy to imagine the pride of seeing your child with an Olympic medal around her neck, or when she sells one of her paintings, or when he creates an amazing project to demonstrate his learning. While all three sets of parents acknowledge how good those moments feel, they all say that there are worries that come with those joys. What do you do when your kid is afraid that anything less than the highest honor isn’t good enough? When does parental support cross the line into pressure? "Ryan’s very hard on himself, very goal-oriented," said Doug Taylor. "We’ll tell him a ‘B’ is good enough, but it’s not good enough for him," added Judy. Ryan works so hard at his schoolwork, often creating large and elaborate projects, that his teacher has imposed a size limit on all future submissions. His teacher has a special compliment for extraordinary work, "The Wow Factor." Ryan consistently earns the wow. To balance his fierce determination to excel, "we make sure he does the things he wants besides school," said Doug. "We did push her a little, once we knew what she was capable of," said Sandy Wall. "But you have to know your kid and have to remember who you’re doing it all for." Sandy notes that ultimately it is Lyndsay’s own internal drive that has led to her success. "Lyndsay started saying at age 11 that she wanted to go to the Olympics and not long after that, coaches started telling us that she could make it. That can be a pretty big thing for a parent to get caught up in. But if it stopped being fun, we would have made her stop playing, or at least stop playing at that level." The Walls have had the unique challenge of sending their 16-year-old daughter halfway around the world. Lyndsay had to be equipped with a cell phone and a credit card; she didn’t even know how to do her own laundry. The worst part, Sandy said, was waiting nervously to see if she would make the Olympic team. "I think that, in a way, we prayed that she would make it so we wouldn’t have to go through the pain of seeing her so disappointed. If she didn’t make it, I don’t know how I would have picked up the pieces." Balancing the challenges Another challenge for the families has been to balance the needs of one child against those of the others. For the Walls, that meant making sure that Lyndsay’s older sister, Ashley, got plenty of Girls’ Nights Out with her mom while dad traveled with Lyndsay. And, despite being a silver medalist, Lyndsay still empties the dishwasher. The Wagners, who have four children, say they are sure to celebrate each of their children’s talents; interestingly, Carolyn has a twin sister who’s not the slightest bit artistic. The Taylors have always spent plenty of time together as a family. These kids are on unique paths – Lyndsay says she plans to return to the Olympics several more times, Ryan plans to be an inventor, and Carolyn has already sold two of her paintings – but their parents are all looking forward to being along on the journey. "No matter what happens, no one can ever take this away from her," said Sandy Wall. "She’ll always have this discipline, this sense of being in control of what happens to her. We felt responsible for helping her be whatever she could." "Art is what sets Carolyn apart, makes her unique," added David Wagner. "It’s part of a parent’s job to do what ever is necessary to help their children realize their full potential." "When my kids get off the bus and they’re really excited about something new they’ve learned or some new challenge they’ve mastered, that’s fulfilling for me as a mother," said Judy. "That’s my reward." A letter of thanks Dear Mom and Dad: Ever since I can remember, I always wanted to be an art teacher or artist when I grew up. And back when I was little my art skills weren’t always promising, but neither of you ever discouraged me from accomplishing my dreams. Until now, I never realized what an impact you have had on my decisions in life. At any time while I am growing up you could stop me from concentrating on my art skills and urge me to focus on something that shows more potential. Starting in first grade I have won small certificates for drawing or painting. These certificates were presented at assemblies and I don’t think I remember once when you weren’t there to cheer me on or take a picture. When I was in Northwood Elementary School, I was so excited about the one art class I took on Fridays. You both knew how much I loved painting, so you signed me up for an extra art class at Hilton High School. Even though I was the only kid taking the watercolor class, you couldn’t get the shining glow off my face when I went. I don’t think I would have accomplished as much as I have without your love or support. So I just wanted to thank you for letting me fulfill my dreams. Happy Mother’s Day. Always with Love, |
