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Valentine's Day is more than
hearts and flowers for local couples Dancing, arrow-wielding Cupids, hearts, flowers and, of course, candy will mark Valentine's Day, February 14, for most couples. Even young children get in on the act by exchanging cards in school and giggling over candy conversation hearts. We've found several couples whose traditions and stories seem to embody the meaning of this hearts and flowers holiday.
For Jim Higgins of Brockport, true love hit him a second time around and it all began with a point. After his wife of 55 years died in 2000, Higgins kept himself busy playing golf and going to the VFW in Holley but all of that changed when he decided to check out the Sweden Senior Center in Brockport. "The first day I was there I sat at a table with five ladies," he said. "After I'd been going there a few times, I heard a rumor that there was a lady who was interested in me." That lady was Luella Jennejohn - a widow of 17 years. "Well, the next time I went there she turned around and pointed at me. I pointed back and that was our introduction," he explained with a laugh. The couple's first meeting was in 2002, they dated for about eight months and got married on Valentine's Day in 2003. Jim and Luella are both in their mid-80s and they say they are very busy people who are always on the go and always see a lot of people. When asked what the secret to their happiness is, Jim said it was compatibility. "We're very much wrapped up in each other," he said. "We just sit and talk and laugh and sing and go to church together." Luella said another key ingredient to their happiness is that they like the same things. "We spend a lot of time outside and we like going to concerts that play music from the 40s and 50s," she said. Their second wedding anniversary falls on a very busy day, Luella said. "It's a busy day at the senior center and later that day we have a meeting because we're representatives of the Sweden-Clarkson Recreation Center," she explained. "We might celebrate our anniversary a day early. Jim has two sons, Michael and James. Luella has one daughter, Patricia. "We love spending time together," Luella said. Love across the miles "We were both on our way to Afghanistan with the military for our first Valentine's Day," Curtis said. "We've been in the same unit for four years together but we usually are stationed in different parts of the country." The Internet and satellite phones were their primary means of communication during their separation. "It's really hard not seeing each other but when I got to see Danielle on leave it was even more special," Verweire said. "We took a leave and went to Hawaii together." This Valentine's will be the first one the couple has spent together. Curtis said she has heard of a lot of couples who become involved in a "deployment romance" and they don't usually last once the realization of so much separation sets in. "I think the time apart might have made our relationship stronger because we talked about everything ... that's all we could do was talk," she said. "It's given us a really strong foundation and we've become really good friends." Curtis, whose birthday is February 13, said Joe went on a mission on her birthday last year so she put together a video slide show for him. "He loved it," she said. Verweire agreed that he and Curtis's communication skills have helped build and strengthen their relationship. "We can, and do, talk about everything," he said. Curtis and Verweire both serve in the Army reserves.
The symbolic Valentine heart has even more meaning to Esther and Al Fiege this year. The couple, married 50 years, both underwent successful open heart surgeries in 2004. "This year I'm really looking forward to this being a special Valentine's Day," Esther said. "We both survived open heart surgery and that's risky and we're both still together." For Esther, hearts have been a passion for a half century - ever since her husband gave her the first box of candy in a Valentine heart box 50 years ago. "I've always been a lover of Valentines and the boxes always fascinated me," Esther said. "Once I got married and Al gave me my first box of candy, I decided to collect them all." She now boasts a collection of 50 candy heart boxes. The boxes were all brought out and displayed at the couple's 40th wedding anniversary celebration. While many of the designs are the same, each box holds special meaning for Esther. "I love chocolate, I love every box and I love my husband," she said. Esther said that people sometimes kid Al for making them look bad - he's bought his wife a box of Valentine's candy every year without exception - and they haven't. When asked what their secret is for a long and loving marriage, Esther said it's their common interests and love of square dancing. "We haven't been able to dance in a while but we're looking forward to getting back to that," she said. The couple has six children and 12 grandchildren. Long distance love The couple was planning to be married in June 2005 following their graduation from college. They started dating in 2002, were engaged November 6, 2003 and married less than a week later because Matt was due to ship out with the Army. The couple, who lives in Virginia, had planned for a big wedding with all of their family in attendance but had to move things up so quickly because of Matt's deployment, that they celebrated their nuptials in front of a justice of the peace. Amanda's mother was able to arrange time off from work but her father couldn't. Matt's parents live in the Richmond area and were on hand for the ceremony, along with a few friends. "When we first talked about getting married right away, I felt in my heart it was the right thing to do because Matt is the only person for me," Amanda said. "But it was odd because everything was so rushed and he was shipping." While Matt is overseas, the couple connects through the Internet and phone calls. Amanda also sends him letters and care packages of snacks and magazines. "We really complement each other," she said. "I'm kind of high strung and worry a lot and he's calm. He's my grounding force." Matt said he met Amanda when they were in college and were both working at an amusement park. "When we met I noticed she smiled at me in a certain way and we also had some things in common," he said. "I was hoping to run into her again at school and I just sort of made sure we did." Matt said he misses Amanda a lot and wished he didn't have to leave home. "I don't think the separation will hurt our bond," he said. "I'm happy that she still loves me even though I've been away so long." Amanda agreed that it's hard to be separated by so many miles but she said it's almost over and they will have the rest of their lives together. "I just thank God every day for the wonderful man I found," she said. "I love you and miss you and I want you to return home safely."
Lorrie Hafner calls her husband, Kevin, the love of her life. "We've been married for close to 32 years and we started dating when I was 14 so I've known him practically my whole life," she said. "He was my childhood sweetheart." They met at a church dance in Hilton. Kevin was 15 at the time. Lorrie said that since that first dance they've been together ever since. Communication is the key to the couple's success. "We made it through our teenage years together," Hafner jokes. "And our communication skills have just gotten better since then." The couple's marriage has thrived through Kevin's stint in the Air Force when they had to relocate to California and through raising three children. Their only separation came when Kevin was in basic training. "We just have so many common interests and that's what's helped keep us together this long," she said. When the couple was young they made their plans for retirement - plans which will be coming to fruition in a few years, she said. "We knew we wanted to work hard so we could retire when we were 55 so we could travel," Lorrie said. "Camping has always been one of our passions and when we retire we're going to travel and camp for six months and live in our family home the other six months." The couple has traveled to Maine, Florida, Nova Scotia, New Orleans and Tennessee. Hafner said that newlyweds have to learn to talk through problems in a reasonable and appropriate way. Her secret to a long and happy marriage is, "talking and working through hard times." This Valentine's Day will be special for the Hafners as they will also be celebrating the one year birthday of their identical twin grandsons, Elwood James and Alexander James. The twins are the sons of Brad and Lindsey Hafner. Travis, the Hafner's oldest son, lives in Washington, D.C. Lorrie said she and Kevin don't really have any unique Valentine's traditions but will definitely be celebrating the twins' birthday. The History of Valentine's Day The history of Valentine's Day -- and its patron saint -- is shrouded in mystery. But we do know that February has long been a month of romance. St. Valentine's Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition. So, who was Saint Valentine and how did he become associated with this ancient rite? Today, the Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom were martyred. One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men -- his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death. Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons where they were often beaten and tortured. According to one legend, Valentine actually sent the first 'valentine' greeting himself. While in prison, it is believed that Valentine fell in love with a young girl -- who may have been his jailor's daughter -- who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter, which he signed 'From your Valentine,' an expression that is still in use today. Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories certainly emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic and most importantly, romantic figure. |
