Dealing with the suicide of a loved one

Dealing with the suicide of a loved one

Research shows that more than 60 percent of people in the United States will know someone who dies by suicide during the course of their lifetime and more than 20 percent will lose a family member. These startling statistics translate into hundreds of thousands of "survivors" who will be left behind to cope with the loss.

On November 17, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) will broadcast their National Survivors of Suicide Day program designed to help survivors sort through the troubling and powerful emotions they may be experiencing. The program will feature a panel discussion comprised of "veteran" survivors sharing their personal experiences. The program will also feature mental health professionals in the field of suicide bereavement. In addition to the broadcast program, each conference site offers further programming for survivors.

A local Survivor Day conference will be held in Rochester on November 17 at the University of Rochester, School of Medicine and Dentistry, in the 1962 Auditorium.

The AFSP program is also broadcast via streaming video on the Foundation's website at www.afsp.org, with an online chat immediately following the program. For those not able to participate at a conference or online, the 90-minute program is archived on the AFSP website for a year after the event, where it can be viewed free of charge at anytime.

More than 32,000 people in the United States die by suicide each year. More than 90 percent have an underlying, although not always diagnosed, psychiatric illness at the time of their death. Despite this, survivors often feel the suicide of their loved one is somehow shameful or that they or their family are somehow to blame. Questions of "Why" and "What could I have done" can further the feelings of guilt and anger.

Also complicating grief are the stigma and misconceptions that plague suicide. Whether real or perceived, this stigma can leave many survivors feeling shunned by friends, the community or even family members. Stigma may also prevent survivors from discussing the death or lead them to keep the cause of death a secret and develop alternate explanations. This can leave survivors feeling alone, abandoned or afraid to reach out for help.

"Because suicide is often so misunderstood, it can be very beneficial for survivors to connect with others who have gone through a similar loss; too often survivors suffer alone," says Edward Dunne, survivor and author of "Suicide and its Aftermath: Understanding and Counseling the Survivors." Dunne is chair of AFSP's national survivor council.

National Survivors of Suicide Day was created in 1999 and is always held on the Saturday before Thanksgiving. Visit www.afsp.org for information or call 607-368-0977 to register.