Although Steve Amberg of Spencerport lost his valiant battle with cancer Februrary 6, his caring and enthusiastic spirit lives on to inspire and help others in the local community.
Steve’s life partner Zelma Kostyshak says she and Steve did a lot of living after he was diagnosed with head and neck cancer in the fall of 2010. A 14-hour surgery not long after his diagnosis left Steve unable to speak or eat – he was nourished with a feeding tube and communicated mainly through a small dry erase board – but, Zelma says, “many positive, cool things happened,” in the six and one-half years that followed, as Steve was determined that he must keep moving through his love of bicycling.
“His goal was to get to 1,000 miles before the (2010) surgery,” Zelma says, “I did it with him.” But Steve and Zelma didn’t stop there. By the fall of 2016, they had peddled more than 17,000 miles – many along the Erie Canal path just a few steps from the couple’s home in Spencerport. “It is a great thing,” Zelma says of the canal path, “we are so lucky to have it.”
After Steve died, the family requested that in lieu of flowers, those who wanted to pay tribute to Steve, could donate to a GoFundMe account. The proceeds from that account totaled about $7,000 and enabled Zelma to make two donations to local charities which meant so much to Steve: The Wilmot Cancer Institute and Camp Abilities – a camp for children with visual impairments held at the College at Brockport.
Zelma, herself, made a donation to the memorial fund in addition to the GoFundMe account and a $5,000 check was presented to Wilmot in March. In early April, Zelma presented another $5,000 check to Camp Abilities, also in Steve’s honor. Additionally, a memorial bench has been placed along the Dutchess Rail Trail near Poughkeepsie, New York, where Steve’s daughter, Sarah, and her family live. Zelma hopes to have another memorial bench placed on the Erie Canal Path.
Zelma says she is amazed by the outpouring of support shown in the wake of Steve’s passing. She says he had an ability to connect with people and inspired many with his determination to keep going after his cancer diagnosis. “I’m not sure I realized until after Steve’s death how inspirational people found our story because we just did what we did and kept moving forward,” Zelma observes.
“He wanted to maintain his quality of life,” she says. The GoFundMe donations were a way for his family to, “celebrate his life and his vibrant spirit.”
Zelma says the cycling – which the couple tried to do four to five times a week either along the canal path or in their basement on trainers – helped Steve stay positive throughout his battle and also taught her how to cope.
“He helped me to learn that I should reflect on the good things that happened and try not to worry about the future despite our challenging set of circumstances. It was hard for me to see through that, but he could,” she says.
In July of 2011, the couple learned that the cancer had metastasized to Steve’s liver. The cycling effort continued, Zelma says, as she and Steve worked to adjust and cope by finding their ever-changing “new normal.” Steve was able to see his daughter, Sarah, married in 2012 and welcomed with joy the birth of his granddaughter, Olivia, in 2013.
It was also during Steve’s illness that the couple met the director of Camp Abilities who told them the camp was in need of help maintaining the bicycles used during the annual summer camp at the College at Brockport. Steve volunteered to repair and tune-up bikes for the camp including a special eight-person bike and many tandem bicycles.
Zelma calls their volunteer work at Camp Abilities, “really rewarding … the program is really amazing. It’s a local grassroots effort that has become a model for others all over the country and internationally. It was a great way for Steve to help others and to teach others that having cancer doesn’t keep you from doing things,” she says.
For those facing the challenges of cancer and life-altering illnesses, Zelma says it is important to accept the situation as your, “new normal … think about things you enjoy and the people you love. Don’t let the disease become your life.” You need to look at the disease as something that you can manage, she advises.
During Steve’s illness, Zelma wrote weekly emails to friends and family members, keeping them updated on how Steve was doing. The process was therapeutic for her. “You need to find things to help you cope with the dramatic changes,” she said.
Zelma says she is now working to learn how to maintain and repair bicycles so she can continue Steve’s volunteer work for Camp Abilities. And she continues to keep moving. “Steve’s legacy to me is that I have grown to really love biking,” she says, “I’m doing a lot of biking.”
