Remembering Ray Webster
by Joe Reinschmidt
On Tuesday, August 27, 2013, the book was closed on the life of a true “Son of Parma.” The occasion was the auctioning of Ray’s home, contents and equipment. It is always amazing to me that in a few hours the things a person spent a lifetime building, buying, using and enjoying are dispersed to the four corners of the region and soon someone new will move into the home. The evidence of their physical presence is gone.
I first met Ray years ago when he made the annual trip to our place with his father and brother to pick up the pigs we had raised for butchering. Watching Ray “encourage” those porkers to get up into the truck you could tell he was quite strong.
A few years later our paths crossed again when I worked as a general handyman for a builder and Ray was doing the excavation and grading for the same builder. One of my duties was to be there when he was backfilling a house foundation. Not wanting to get too close to the wall with the heavy machine, he would drop a blade full of dirt three or four feet from the wall for me to hand shovel it the rest of the way. I left that builder after two years.
Many years and several jobs later, I began employment with the Town of Parma. A few years later Ray was hired to be the foreman for the Parma Highway Department, and we worked together there occasionally.
Despite that amount of contact there was much about Ray that I learned at his funeral service. He was the final recipient of hand-me-downs from his brothers and was the keeper of family stories and traditions to pass on to the next generation. Ray’s son, Dale, shared the most important lessons he had learned from his father.
The first was that hard work has its own rewards. It was created while growing up on the farm faithfully doing the chores assigned to him. It was honed in the years following his marriage when he was hauling milk full time, milking cows on the family farm and building a new house. Later he worked long days in construction then came home to help with farm work until dark. He took humbling jobs when construction slowed to avoid unemployment. Although Ray possessed a practical knowledge of things which you couldn’t learn in any school, he worked hard so his children could have good formal educations and careers and he told them that. Ray took pride in jobs well done. Sunday drives often became an opportunity to show his family some of the many homes he had done the final grading on, commentings on the challenges he faced to get it “just right.”
The second lesson Dale said was about strength and perseverance, but not just physical strength, although that was legendary. An example was how Ray could lift a can full of milk in each hand onto the truck at the same time, when other men would struggle to lift one with both hands. His massive hands prevented him from buying gloves – special mittens were required. Will power was the strength that helped Ray survive several serious problems. In the mid 1950s while working under the upraised bed of a dump truck it came down, pinning his shoulder and arm against the frame. Amputation was being considered but he convinced the doctors to wait and eventually regained full use of the arm. Then in 2004 Ray made medical history by surviving complete paralysis from West Nile virus, the oldest known person to do so. About all he could do was talk, and talk he did, instructing his wife, Betty, and other family members how to care for his goats, calves and chickens until the time came that he could “get back to work.” His work ethic was evident during rehabilitation, doing everything the therapists at Lakeside-Beikirch told him to do and more. He was released from there to home therapy after three months where he continued his determined effort to regain complete mobility. Ray had a chance to be a child again, learning to crawl first and progressing from there. His sister-in-law, Judy Lockwood, noted that he would get in his wheelchair, go down a ramp a neighbor had built, get on his golf cart, then slide across the seat to his lawnmower. From there he got outside and was happy that he mowed his, and all the neighbors’ lawns. Add to that the fact that he had two hip and two knee replacements somewhere along the way might make him seem like Parma’s version of the bionic man.
Dale’s third lesson was how important it is to help others to lead a rich and fulfilling life. Ray didn’t need to be asked to do you a favor – it would be anticipated, arrangements made and done, with nothing expected in return. It might be tilling a garden, mowing a lawn, taking a show animal to the fair for a 4-H member or offering advice based on his experiences. Helping others also entailed their home being the venue for many events such as the family reunion, pool parties, church picnics, sports team parties and on and on. Payment came in the form of the richness of relationships he formed and the assistance he received from so many folks in later years when he needed help.
The fourth lesson was how important it was to love, honor and respect your spouse. Ray and Betty shared goals for their family and worked together to achieve them. Having fun was also part of their lives, such as square dancing often, bowling in a mixed league on Friday nights and playing Euchre at someone’s house after bowling, Dale never heard their voices raised to one another except when she was driving the tractor for the hay wagon. Betty cared for him faithfully during his paralysis and he did the same as later her health deteriorated.
Betty’s death in 2010 broke the big man’s heart. Dale felt she was missing him, too, and he didn’t want to wait any longer for them to dance together again. Judy Lockwood, Ray’s sister-in-law, had that same feeling and described how Ray on the last day of his life, after finishing his evening chores of caring for his animals at the farm, had gone back to his house to enjoy some chocolate chip cookies brought by friends and sit at the kitchen chair looking out on the fields behind the house when apparently the call came for him to join Betty.
There was uniqueness about the “Webster boys,” as Ray and his brothers were referred to, that is best described by a comment Ray’s nephew Rusty once made. He felt they were men from a generation that could take a broken washing machine apart, fix the problem, get it back in working order, but somehow could never learn to do a load of laundry! However Ray even changed that concept by learning to do his own laundry at age 84 after Betty passed away.
Raymond B. Webster
BROCKPORT
•Berger, Paul W., Died September 5, 2013 at age 56. Survived by his parents George and Martha Berger; sister Carol Core (Chuck); brother Glenn Berger (Trish); nephews and niece Michael Cicatelli, Brandon and Caitlynn Berger. In 2011 Paul received the Citizen of the Year Award from the City of Rochester Police Department for his courageous actions and selfless support of law enforcement.
According to Paul’s wishes his remains have been donated to the U of R Anatomical Gift Program. Donations can be made to: Hope Hall, 1612 Buffalo Road, Rochester, 14624 in his memory.
•Flesch, Laurie (Morgan) (Ruggles), September 6, 2013 after a short battle with cancer.
Services were held September 9 at New Comer Funeral Home, Greece.
•Holberton, Tamara, Died September 9, 2013 at age 50 after a brief illness. Survived by her fiancé, Richard (Clancy) Glace; brother, Leon (Ann) Holberton; nephew, Justin Holberton; niece, Jessica Holberton.
A Gathering in Remembrance of Tammy was held September 14 at the home of Leon and Ann Holberton, Brockport.
•Luder, Sheila A. (Cook), of Mesa Arizona (originally from Brockport) died suddenly September 6, 2013 at age 69. She is predeceased by her husband, Frederick Luder, Jr., parents, Charles and Julia Cook, brother, Harry Cook; sisters Alice and Evelyn. Survived by her daughters, Teresa Avery (Scott) and Dana Wood (Angelino); grandchildren Chris Avery, Amaya and Malek Wood and many loving nieces and nephews as well as other family and friends. Sheila moved to Arizona in 1979.
A Memorial Service will be held at a later date.
•Rabjohn, Patricia B., On September 9, 2013. She is survived by her husband Robert; children Debbie (Michael) Ferris, Diane (Richard) Lasch, Barry (Sheila) Koss, Michael (Kelly) Koss and Timothy Rabjohn; several grandchildren and great-grandchildren; sisters Kathleen Bolton, Bernadine Foley and special friend Pauline.
A Mass of Christian Burial was said September 11 in Nativity Church BVM, Brockport. Interment, Garland Cemetery. Contributions can be made to Nativity Church in her memory.
CHILI
•Koziol, Michael J., Died September 4, 2013 at age 57. He leaves behind his loving wife of 17 years, Joy St. Clair Koziol; his parents, Chester and Doris Koziol of Olean; his brother by choice, Daniel Woods of Bloomfield; his sister by choice, Marci Dietz of Rochester; his “adopted” sister and brother, Pat and Richard Wyatt of Glasgow, Kentucky; his best friend David Harris of Rochester; a large number of well-loved cousins and other relatives; and his family in the Lions Club of Chili. Michael was born in Olean, New York on June 22, 1956. He attended Rochester Institute of Technology where he earned a BS and MBA and worked 30+ years in the Department of Campus Safety. One of his favorite volunteer activities was with Upstate Guide Dogs as Puppy Raiser and Coordinator of Volunteer Activities. He was the current President of the Lions Club of Chili.
Private services were held in Rochester and in Olean. Donations can be made to the Lions Club of Chili in his memory.
•Loftus, David R., September 9, 2013. Predeceased by his brother, Daniel and father, Robert. Survived by his wife, Peggy; son, Andrew; mother, Gladys; brother, Douglas and many, many friends.
His Memorial Service was held September 14 at the Henrietta Assembly Hall of Jehovah’s Witnesses, West Henrietta. Contributions can be made to the Assembly Hall in his memory.
HAMLIN
•Baase, Velma A., On September 3, 2013. Predeceased by her husband Arnold, son Alan and brother Francis Hull. She is survived by her children Lu Anne (Charles) Jewell, Robert Baase, Julie Giancursio; grandchildren Denise Jewell, Charles Jewell, Melissa (Matthew) Blanar, Tiffany Jewell; four great-grandchildren; sister Barbara Gaddis; several nieces and nephews.
A Graveside Service was held September 6 at Lakeside Cemetery, Hamlin. Contributions can be made to Hospice of Orleans or the Orleans Office for the Aging in her memory.
•Thompson, Jeanne M., On September 3, 2013 age 78. Predeceased by her husband, Albert “Tom” Thompson. Survived by her daughters, Mary (Robert) Castle of Hamlin and Dawn Nye of Oklahoma; and son, Lloyd (Karen) Rose of Nebraska; several grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
Service and Interment were held privately.
HILTON
•Hawley, William H., Jr., Died May 15, 2013 in Oviedo, Florida. Predeceased by his parents, William Sr. and Josephine Hawley. He is survived by his wife Joe Ann (Crowley) Hawley; children, Terrilynn Woodhouse, William III and Jason; step-children Kathy Davis and Kristi Goldstein; eight grandchildren; nieces, nephews, cousins and close friends. Born in Canandaigua on September 1, 1940, Bill was a graduate of Canandaigua High School and earned a degree in chemical engineering from Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute. He lived in Hilton until his retirement from DuPont in 1993. He and his wife moved to Naples, NY and Boynton Beach, Florida. He served on the Hilton School Board for many years, was active in St. Leo’s Church and St. Januarius Church, Naples, and Rotary Club.
A Funeral Mass will be held September 19 at 11 a.m. at St. Januarius Catholic Church, Naples, New York. There will be a reception in the Parish Center following the mass.
•Lissow, David E., August 19, 2013, age 65. Survived by son, Shane Lissow; daughter, Marnie Bryant-Lissow; siblings, Charlies (Patricia) Lissow, Patricia (Larry) Boyd and Alice (John) Fitzner; several cousins, nieces and nephews. Predeceased by brother, Thomas Lissow.
Funeral Services wre held September 14 at the Thomas E. Burger Funeral Home, Hilton. Donations can be made to Veterans Outreach Center, 459 South Avenue, Rochester, NY 14620 in his memory.
•Misel, Judith Ann “Judy”, September 9, 2013 at age 71. Predeceased by her parents, Otto and Shirley Piotraschke; brother, Harry Piotraschke; special friend, Ruthie Parrott Taylor. Survived by her husband of 51 years, Richard Misel; children, Deborah Lamay, Janet Misel (Mel Lum Ho), Bonnie (William) Shenck, Richard Misel, Jr. (Renee Ronco); grandchildren, Melissa Sue Misel (Kevin Burns), Leighann Ronco, Shelby Lynn Shenck; close friends, Sandy Parrott and Jan Candela; many other friends and family.
Services and Interment were held at the convenience of the family. Contributions can be made to the Unity Health Foundation in her memory.
KENDALL
•Symonds, Victor E., of Nokomis, Florida. Born on March 24, 1931 in Kendall, he grew up in Kendall and was also a long-time resident of Hilton and Rochester. Victor died September 7, 2013, at age 82, in Nokomis, Florida. He worked at Eastman Kodak Company in Rochester for 36 years. He is survived by his daughters, Carolyn S. Dunn (Jim) of Nokomis, Florida and Marcia L. Symonds of Riverview, Florida; son, Edward P. Symonds (Debbie) of Waterport; grandchildren Michael Dunn (Miranda), Paul E. Dunn, Julia L. Chaplin (Nick), Geoffrey E. Symonds and Melissa D. Symonds; great-grandchildren Isabella C. Dunn and Jocelyn R. Dunn; sister Phyllis S. Whittier of Gastonia, North Carolina; brothers Willard G. Symonds of Rochester and Brian R. Symonds of Nokomis, Florida; several nieces and nephews. Victor was preceded in death by his parents Geoffrey D. Symonds and Mary E. (Lacey) Symonds; a brother David R. Symonds and dear friend Lois Elmer.
There will be a Memorial Service in Kendall at a later date. Contributions can be made to Muscular Dystrophy Association, P.O. Box 78960, Phoenix, AZ 85062-8960 in his memory.
MURRAY
•Motzer, James J. “Jim”, age 55, died September 5, 2013. Born December 14, 1957 in Rochester, he was the son of the late Michael C. and Geraldine McLean Motzer. Jim is survived by his siblings, Robert “Bob” (Bunny) Motzer of Port Charlotte, Florida, Jeanne (Wayne) Dykes of Webster, John “Jack” (Jill) Motzer of Kent, Joan (Scott) Berthold of Hilton, Geraldine Motzer of Bedford Hills; several nieces and nephews, great-nieces and nephews and great-great nieces and nephews and a dear friend, David Roe of Kendall. Jim was predeceased by a brother, Michael Motzer.
A Memorial Service was held September 13 at the Harbour Pointe Country Club, Waterport.
NORTH CHILI
•Stanislaw, John, August 27, 2013 at age 80. Predeceased by his wife, Patricia. Survived by his daughters, Sandra (Dan) VanZile, Susan (Ron) Whelan; grandchildren, D.J., Nathan and Bryan; brothers, George of Florida, Charles of Pennsylvania, James of Pennsylvania, and Edward of Ohio; several nieces and nephews.
Private Service was held. Contributions can be made to the American Diabetes Association in his memory.
SPENCERPORT
•Baum, Lawrence C., Suddenly on September 3, 2013. Survived by his wife of 31 years, Laura; sons, William (Alicia) Baum and Jay Baum. Predeceased by father, Lawrence F. Baum. Survived by mother, Virginia Baum; grandmother, Emma Monagan; sisters Sue (Don) Mosher, Debbie (Jim) Horek, Karen (Chris) Marchand, Barb (Bill) Parmeter and brother, Donald Baum; several nieces and nephews and many friends.
A Funeral Mass was said September 7 at St. John the Evangelist Church, Spencerport.
•McGrath, Mabel N., On September 6, 2013. Predeceased by her husband, Bernard J. McGrath. Survived by her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren; sister-in-law, Izzy Murch of Lyons, NY; nieces; nephews and cousins.
A Funeral Mass was said September 10 at St. John the Evangelist Church, Spencerport. Burial in St. John’s Cemetery.
•Murphy, Kenneth W., September 9, 2013 at age 87. Survived by his wife of 63 years, Rosemarie; daughters, Marleen (Roger) Mark and Dawn (Peter) Murphy Bruton; grandsons, Nick (Ashlee) Bruton, Shaughn Bruton, Benjamin Mark and Kenneth Mark; and several nieces, nephews and friends. Kenneth was an Honorary Graduate of Aquinas Institute, an honor that he cherished, a member of the American Legion Post 330, the Spencerport Lions Club, and a WWII veteran of the U.S. Air Force.
His Funeral Mass was said September 14 at St. John the Evangelist Church, Spencerport. Interment St. John’s Cemetery. Donations can be made to American Legion Post 330 Scholarship Fund, 691 Trimmer Road, Spencerport, NY 14559, or Spencerport Lions Club Scholarship Fund, P.O. Box 354, Spencerport, NY 14559 in his memory.
•Pardington, Eileen, on September 9, 2013. Predeceased by her husband, Maurice and survived by her daughter, Carol and son-in-law, John Bridgeman; two grandsons, Michael (Christie) and Kevin (Jill) Bridgeman; nine great-grandchildren, Stephen, Danielle, Miranda, Andrew, Alec, Aidan, Caleigh, Michael and Molly Bridgeman; sisters, Carolyn Welch, Kay Scott, Mildred Pierce and Barbara Schmidt.
Her Funeral Mass was said September 13 at Sacred Heart Cathedral, Rochester. Donations can be made to the Cathedral Community in her memory.
•Robards, Howard Stanley, August 28, 2013 at age 87. Survived by his wife Joyce Fisher Robards of Spencerport; sister Mary Price of Florida; niece Kim Robards Smith of Dansville and a bevy of nieces, nephews and loving in-laws. Predeceased by his brother Robert. Born in Dansville, NY, as a teen he studied music at Eastman School of Music, but at age 17 he interrupted his education to serve in the Navy where he earned many medals for his service in the Pacific theater. Stan continued his education at Ithaca College and taught instrumental music and built a thriving music program in the Spencerport School District. He was elected NYS Music Director of the Year in 1977 and elected to the All American Bandmaster Society in 1979. Stan enjoyed bowling and was a long time member of Salmon Creek Golf Club. He was also a member of American Legion Post 0330.
A reception honoring his life was held September 14 at Rick’s Prime Rib House, Rochester. In his memory, please stop smoking, become an organ donor, or, like Stan, give your body to medical research through the Anatomical Gift Program. (www.urmc.rochester.edu/oer/)
